Cher. Madonna. Bono. Sting. In music, one-named performers are ubiquitous. When it comes to television, popular names are shouted from the rooftops.
For the most part. There are some TV characters who maintain an air of mystery when it comes to their identities. And why should you care? Let me give you a personal story.
This all started (for me) with the hit television series “The Big Bang Theory.” The comedy followed the adventures of four quirky geniuses whose lives were upended by a beautiful girl named Penny, who moved in next door.
From the TV Pilot to the spectacular Series Finale twelve seasons later, storylines were resolved and loose ends were tied up…except one. Penny’s last name. Sure, when she married nerdy genius Leonard Hofstadter, she took his name – but that was a cheat. What WAS Penny’s maiden name?
The show’s creator, Chuck Lorre, is content to leave that mystery dangling in the wind for future TV junkies to ponder. Which would be okay if Penny were the first.
But no. Penny Hofstadter nee Who Knows is only the latest in a storied line of small screen characters devoid of a surname. Just sit right back and let me tell you a tale. A tale of a fateful trip.
What started out on a tiny port aboard a tiny ship led to a gigantic mystery. No, not how the Professor could create electronic miracles from coconuts and bamboo, or how Ginger and Mary Ann were able to produce three seasons of fashionable clothing from a trip that was only scheduled for three hours.
On any other day, releasing the fact that Jonas Grumby was the Skipper’s name would be big news. Yet the overarching question, naturally, is what was Gilligan’s first name? Show creator Sherwood Schwartz says he and “Gilligan” actor Bob Denver would argue incessantly about that subject. Schwartz one time admitted, “He (Denver) thinks Gilligan is his first name, and I think it’s his last name. Because in the original presentation, it’s Willy Gilligan.”
Other television shows teased first or last names of their title characters. Richard Dean Anderson’s “MacGyver” went first nameless through the bulk of the series, even though he was affectionately known as “Mac.” In the last season, however, his first name was revealed to be “Angus.” Fun fact: An early press release for the show from Paramount Pictures had MacGyver’s first name as “Stacey.”
As one of the top agents for C.O.N.T.R.O.L. in the TV spy spoof “Get Smart,” Agent 99 was the reliable voice of reason in a world full of superspys and supervillains. After all, her organization fought the evil consortium K.A.O.S. – what would you expect? Her partner in world-saving was Maxwell Smart, a top-level agent with basement-level intellect.
Proving that opposites attract, Max and 99 fell in love and got married, making her…making her…Agent Smart? No, that’s Max’s name. She could go by her maiden name, Agent 99. No, no, no. Marriage is compromise. How about Mrs. Max? Cool name for a niche market energy drink, yet still not quite enough.
Oh, I just have one more item (Columbo tribute). Peter Falk’s irritating genius Detective went through life quite comfortably without a first name. In fact, when asked about his first name, he would slyly reply, “Lieutenant.”
However, eagle-eyed viewers with a DVR and too much time on their hands discovered, when the rumpled detective showed his police ID in earlier episodes, the name on the signature line was “Frank Columbo.”
Shakespeare wrote, “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Apparently, the Bard didn’t meet Quincy, M.E. Or Tony Nelson’s Jeannie. Or Mork from Ork, for that matter. Anyhoo, speaking for myself, as long as I don’t get called late for dinner, everything is okay.
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