Happy Black Friday! I heard in passing that an election or something occurred earlier this month. Having climbed out of my pre/post election news blackout gopher hole, I am ready to start reconnecting with the world.
And…nothing has changed. President-Elect Trump’s Cabinet picks look like the cast of “It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World,” while the Democrats stir echoes of the Black Knight in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” Think about the similarities-when it comes to confirmation hearings, the Left is saying “None shall pass.” Meanwhile, when it comes to the thumping they received November 5th, they keep bleating “Tis only a flesh wound.”
I have foregone my traditional “ruin Thanksgiving in four words” column this year. For the last eight years “I voted for Trump” was the surefire phrase to make families misuse their cutlery, and it seemed like it would be the obvious champion again. So, in lieu of that, I present to you some bits and pieces that were not big enough about which to write an article, but things I think were mention-worthy, nonetheless.
A professor got steamed last week when a student brought her emotional support hedgehog to class. That is, until he saw what an adorable cuddle-bug it was, then all was forgiven.
Believe it or not, “emotional support animal” encompasses a wide swath of our critter kingdom. According to the T.H. Chan School of Medicine at the University of Massachusetts, “any domesticated animal is allowed to be an emotional support animal, which can include cats, dogs, mice, rabbits, birds, hedgehogs(!), rats, minipigs, ferrets, and even miniature horses. The only requirement is that they don’t cause any mayhem and are generally manageable in public.”
The esteemed institution did not rule out the emotional support girlfriend or boyfriend, so I guess that would be okay. Personally, I would opt for an emotional support taco truck, because I eat when I am stressed.
In other news, the much-anticipated, highly hyped movie version of the Broadway musical smash “Wicked” hit theatres last week. And cinemas in Kentucky, Ohio and Indiana were prepared.
AMC Theatres in the Tri—State issued a ban on patron’s musical stylings in accompaniment to the movie, preferring the tunes stay in the purview of the professionals on the screen.
But fear not, songbirds, your day is coming. According to “Variety,” sing-along screenings of the film will premiere on a thousand screens on Christmas Day. Now, let me regale you with a true story from my past.
In my younger days, I would work 80-hour weeks, doing 40 at WFTM/Limestone Cable and 40 as an Assistant Manager at Cinemark Maysville Cinema Four.
Those were the good old days…until they weren’t. It just so happened I was on shift when the Whitney Houston/Kevin Costner blockbuster “The Bodyguard” was playing in town. I would be in the office working, only to be accosted by a patron who (rightly so) rushed in complaining that other theatre-goers were singing along with Whitney as she sang “I Will Always Love You.”
A good song, to be sure. As long as it is performed by someone armed with an amazing voice who knew how to wield it. Sadly, the ersatz songbirds in the auditorium were not so equipped. The resulting caterwauling drove the rest of the audience to distraction, possibly to madness.
The moral of the story? If you are going to the cinema to see a movie, sit down, shut up and enjoy the show, while letting your fellow patrons do the same. Talking is for coffee shops. And if you do feel the unquenchable urge to belt one out, take a cue from “Frozen’s” Elsa and Let It Go.
