As we prepare to careen into Week 10 of the COVID-19 Pandemic and some businesses prepare to reopen their shops in the age of the New Normal, I have been waxing nostalgic for the days of yore. And by yore, I mean last year.

It was only a scant 12 months ago that we were complaining about ticks. You remember ticks, don’t you? The little disease carrying blood suckers that torment us every year, with the threat of Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and Lyme Disease.

Fun fact: did you know ticks can carry other diseases in their little bitey bodies? These versatile vermin harbor more diseases per pound than a Mad Scientist’s research lab. Anaplasmosis, erlichiosis, babesiosis, tularemia, Powassan virus, Heartland virus, tick-borne relapsing fever and red meat allergy can also be carried by this rabble-rousing runt.

West Nile Virus mosquitoes. You know ‘em. You love ‘em. Like an American hot dog on the Fourth of July, this pest is as much a symbol of Summer as is the loud Uncle who has a little too much to drink at the family cookout.

As much fun as it is to hear them sizzle in your bug zapper on a balmy July evening, the mosquito is not just known for their entertainment value. They can, aside from West Nile, transmit Zika virus, Chikungunya virus, dengue, and malaria. So they have that going for them. Which is nice.

Chiggers do not get as much attention as it’s larger compatriots. Maybe they just have a bad press agent. A tiny larvae member of the arachnid family, chiggers hitch a ride on you from tall blades of grass then go to work, attaching to your skin and making little red itchy dots. That is why they are sometimes called Red Bugs. Chiggers like the warm weather, and can be found Spring, Summer and Fall.

I feel I would be remiss if I did not mention Spiders and Snakes. Giving them their due, I am shivering out of respect of their reputations even as I write this. Creepy. Just plain creepy.

Since, for the moment, the Murder Hornet is Washington State’s problem, I will leave them be. Maybe they’ll move East and to the big leagues by next Spring.

While not a living thing, the Sun does help maintain life, and as such, earns a spot in the Summer Scourge Society. As a side hustle, this toasty ball of fun likes to fry the skin of people who are foolhardy enough to attempt to get “the perfect tan.” Most people think SPF stands for “Sun Protection Factor.” Actually, it stands for “Sadistic Pain Fomenter.”

Last, but not least, are the Pandemic Pounds that have turned dreams of Beach Bods into the reality of Beach Blobs. Fortunately, since round is a shape, you can say you are in shape on your online dating profile and not be lying. Score one for Semantics!

There, for the moment, you have it. More reasons, alongside COVID-19, that Nature is not our friend. You may cower indoors and occasionally peek outside your window at your leisure.

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Robert Roe