Am I The Only One?

Robert Roe
Robert Roe -

Honestly, People. We’ve known each other for a while, so I feel comfortable asking you. Am I the only one who…

…Has created theme music for their pets and croons it whenever the little dears come into the room?

…Apologizes to the bugs who get smashed on the car windshield while I travel to and fro?

…Thinks Government’s plundering of Social Security (national level) and teacher’s pensions (state level) to use for anything other than its designated purpose should be considered theft in office, a criminal offense?

…Believes the destruction of historic statues across the nation is political theatre? After all, they’ve stood for decades with the only vandalism being perpetrated by the occasional pigeon.

…Wishes I had the carefree spirit of Onslow from “Keeping Up Appearances” or Compo from “Last of the Summer Wine?”

…Thinks that the inexplicable renaming of US 68 and US 62 is a secret plot from Russian Bots?

…Always gets behind the One. Single. Car. Driving straight in the turning lane from Wal-Mart to Downtown during a stop light so I can’t turn right on red??

…Thought “Star Wars-The Last Jedi” was not that good? As well as “Titanic,” “Casablanca, “Gone with the Wind,” and “Breakdance II-Electric Boogaloo (starring Shabadoo)?”

…Believes the “Eye for An Eye” rule should apply to perpetrators of sexual and domestic violence?

…Thinks that Eco Warriors who want to bend the world to their will should be collected and put on an island where they can preach to the choir 24/7?

…Is of the opinion that Green Beans, Liver and any dessert containing Coconut should be called the Culinary Axis of Evil?

…Sleeps with the ceiling fan on high, even during the winter?

…Thinks that someone should remind the self-righteous electric car drivers smugly putt-putting through the countryside that their Green Car’s go juice is created by demon coal?

…Wonders why on Earth, if a Man and a Woman do the same job, do they not get equal pay?

…Is trying to figure out why our country pretends to want equality and justice for all, yet decries “cultural appropriation” when fellow citizens enjoy unique features of other ethnicities?

…Thinks instead of doing a Texas Chainsaw Massacre on our Commonwealth, our elected leaders should first start with cutting bureaucratic bloat in Frankfort? Of course, it’s always easier to lower the boom on people you do not have to face on a daily basis.

…Misses White Light hamburgers, Country Gentleman ham and cheese and Burger Queen milk shakes?

…Agrees with Thomas Sowell? He once said “Elections should be held on April 16th – the day after we pay our income taxes. That is one of the few things that might discourage politicians from being big spenders.”

…Is a fan of Harris County, Georgia Sheriff Mike Jolley? He posted a sign at the county limits which reads “Our citizens have concealed weapons. If you kill someone, we might kill you back. We have ONE jail and 356 cemeteries. Enjoy your stay!”

Surely I am not the only one. Or am I?

Robert Roe Roe

Robert Roe