Be warned: Today’s screed is pure babble

Robert Roe
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It’s funny how the younger generation mocks the phrases and lifestyles chosen by their elders. I did it when I was that age. I suppose you did, as well. If not, you were a paragon of virtue as a youth and I salute you. I imagine we’ve done it since the day young Korg the Caveman teased his father Glog about his color usage on cave paintings.

There have been plenty of times I’ve seen someone walk by and said to myself, “Wow! Bold fashion choice.” Stay out of the water, guys, because it is a Snark attack! You guessed right, Gentle Reader. When it comes to standards, make mine a double.

I never minded it before – probably because I was one of the punks who made fun of the older generation’s idioms. Now, that chicken has come home to roost, and it is taking a sizable chunk out of my backside.

I have always believed human existence is a journey from Point A (Life) to Point B (Death), and our task is to go from one extreme to the other in as seamless fashion as possible. Just one lane. No off ramps, no detours.

Yet people (you know who you are) insist on adding Road Signs, Speed Bumps and Hazards to what should be an interesting, smooth voyage of discovery, turning one’s life into an autobahn of twists, turns and insane bursts of speed from one place to another.

With age comes wisdom, it is said. In my case, it brought with it a thin skin. So, let the indignation begin!

The younger set is using their generation’s version of sarcasm against we of the middle age persuasion. The “woke” set has decided the time has come to teach their elders (especially men over 40) what is or is not age appropriate to say. Forget that a person of any age can coronate themselves the arbiter of what is or isn’t apropos for a group of certain decrepitude.

Let’s see what our progeny thinks their betters should eschew. According to the site “Best Life,” courtesy of MSN, men over forty should not use words like “amazeballs” or “adorbs,” and phrases like “Does this shirt go with these pants?” and “How much should we tip?”

To be fair, they are correct. It’s bad enough our youth talk like their brain has been put in a blender. At an advancing age, imitation becomes the sincerest form of idiocy. As amusing as it is to watch the younger generation pull a Moses, climbing up the stairs from their parent’s basement to dispense the wisdom of the mildly aged to their Elders on an Apple tablet, it’s even more enjoyable to watch them implement their “new” slanguage online.

Apparently, I’ve been as guilty as any of us of using words and phrases I’m too old to say. I’ve used the word “interwebs” on the air more than once, thinking it cute, when in fact I was broadcasting my dotage for all the world to hear.

I’ve not used “woke (a person who is awakened or aware of what’s going on in the world)” or “fleek (something that is so good it’s “on point.”)” I do, however, plan on introducing “ghosting (completely cutting off communication with someone without any rhyme, reason, or explanation.)” into my vernacular. It’s too close to Halloween not to!

Hidden beneath the snide comments and pretentious online preening, the author did make a point worth living by: “It’s time to stop making fun of people who might be you in a few years.”

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Robert Roe